PARENTAL NUGGETS

Growing up way before I knew myself, I got used to been spotted and great remarks kept coming… One of such is “You are brilliant “! I’ve heard such from people I didn’t even know. I’ve been in situations where people pointed out to me as an example to show their children.
The almighty speech and prize giving day many dread alot was indeed a prize giving day for me, even though each year with such event turned out a very busy one for me. All of those presentations students get involved in, trust me you’ll get tired of seeing my face. I was literally everywhere.
At some point I wanted to start complaining but mumcy’s stare and scold was not something I enjoyed ( and yes! She was a staff in my school).
For reasons unknown to me then, she always encouraged me to partake in those activities. These reasons became obvious years later as I kept going through various facets of life. You can imagine having to memorize for news casting, debates, poetry (my favorite then) and you’re always spotted and given long threads to memorize, simply because everyone believes you can do it.
That’s not it all, there were some little extras like music entourage (popularly welcome singers), cultural dances, choreographies, …. these were all fun.
I deviated a bit……….. but please follow closely.

The end of another academic year came, with all of the usuals but it turned out a remarkable one for me. I went home with lots of gifts both academic, moral conduct and for physical appearance.

So when I said “I am brilliant “, it’s no hype! I’m not saying all of these for self appraisal but I’m heading somewhere.
Whilst all of these events were happening almost becoming a norm, such tags and appraisals from people never got to my head maybe because the tutorship, guardianship over me or the environment I grew up in never permitted or gave room that. Plus I was still a little girl then and all I wanted was making my parents proud.
But then something else happened of which till date I’m yet to decrypt/decipher completely. Mum had to travel and it came very much near my exams. Impliedly, I would start and finish writing the exams before she returns. It happened that way, she left with strict warnings to be sure I read and even did well with timely checks on how my exams went.
She returned during the week of compilation of results.
Fast forward to exam results collection day, I had no reason to panick but suprisingly she expressed how disappointed in me she was and blamed it on the fact that I slacked a bit and my performance dropped because she was absent. It was serious because I recieved beatings with a slippers ( lol, typical of Nigerian moms). I cried so much in response to the pain I felt from the beating and even more hearing that my performance dropped. I felt so bad because I had let my parents down. It was my first time dealing with failure. “Failure ” because that was what I termed it as, more so my mum’s reaction spelt it that way.

People of God, y’all would be so shocked to know the succeeding event. I had my report sheet in my hand, only to discover I still came first place but my cumulative average dropped. I can’t remember the figure exactly but then it didn’t seem so alarming to me but to my mum it was.
Who else is thinking what I was thinking then and still thinking now?
So why did she beat me?
Don’t ask me how my break or holiday went, you could tell I read my life (lol).

MY VIEWS
At that time it happened I felt she reacted to that way because she had high expections from me and to probably prevent future occurance.
Today, I think her reasons are to help me understand that with or without her I should always do my best and excel in every and all.

She was seeing the future, I guess she knew she wouldn’t be present in all facets of my life and so she had to drive that message home early enough.
Truly, what an elder sees sitting a child wouldn’t see even if he climbs a ladder.
As early as my senoir secondary school days I was out of my parent’s sight, I went to a boarding school and so I learned how to live on my own and even study without been asked to do so, I had the opportunity of dodging classes, much more night prep classes at least my parent would not know as long as I don’t get caught. But I saw myself making my own decisions to study hard. My guide was this…. “never to do things I wouldn’t be able to do in their presence “.
Years later I still had to study without them in sight.

They got to hear my results when I tell them, send to them online or show it to them on those timely visits during holidays. No one has to tell me when and why I need to study hard, I still try so much to do my best!

So we could all say mum’s message was well recieved, lesson learnt and her nuggets of wisdom will last a lifetime.

PS: My mum wasn’t overly schooled, she didn’t bag a BSc or any of such academic achievements, She is learned of morals, conduct and I can boldly say Godliness no doubts!
Credit :My alma mater @Global Kids Academy
(Primary school days)
My mum @ Mrs Tamar Kenneth

Parenting……

Parentalnuggets…….

GRATITUDE

“Gratitude is to acknowledge the impact of others in one’s life”. Thank you is a complete sentence and the impact of these words can be huge.
Decide to live a life of gratitude.

As the saying goes “we learn everyday”, I’ll tell you this…… It is very much true!
Gratitude is this nine letter word I’ve always known, very much part of my vocabulary, not sure I’ve missed opportunities to act in gratitude when need be. But who else knows this feeling when even the little things that seems casual turn out to seem like you’ve not really been acting accordingly and should do even more, now this thought becomes burdensome somewhat like a big deal and you feel like going extra miles. Well, this is me right now!

So, August came probably too soon and it’s been five days since we said happy new month. One usual practice for me has always been to pick an appropriate theme for the month sometimes days even before the month begins, most times such themes are aimed at growth, self improvement and character reformation. Then August came and i was absent minded, monthly ritual went on isolation (lol) I didn’t pitch into the month of august. But then something else was going on, girl had this feeling of “there’s something I have to do and I’m yet to do so”, the surprising thing is I was clueless. But then almost everything I went through, listened, surfed, and read these past five days pointed out to the theme ‘gratitude’. A podcast I listened to two days back was my strong conviction.

And just then I realized I’ve been ungrateful, well maybe not but I haven’t really done the extra. Let’s say I feel I should do more! And yes, I’ve had a lot of self reflections.
Gosh! I’m so grateful to the God of all graces who has blessed this girl with many graces (you should see my expression now). So august will be filled with so many thank you’s, yet not enough!

Do you know gratitude gives way for even more? Just maybe there’s someone out there who feels like he hasn’t really done much or some other person at the point of self reflection and evaluation; then your thank you comes, their faces lits up with smiles knowing they did a thing in the past someone is grateful for. It could be a form of self validation for them and provokes them to do even more and you benefit receiving even more kindhearted gestures from them.

For that little help, gift, word of encouragement or support in time past or present, thank you should be uttered with ease!

So in line with this I also got reminded of an event in the past, at that time I felt I had control of the situation, well it seemed I did and it turned out well. But days back I got reminded and it brought me to the point of genuine brokenness, and i’m grateful it is referred to now as an event of the past. Well, I’m determined to share via a podcast platform in this same month of August just to encourage even a person.

Let’s do well to acknowledge the impact of others in our life and express gratitude in whatever way laid in our hearts, most importantly learn to say the word ‘thank you’ even more often.
We live, unlearn, learn more and LEAD!

THE OBITUARY STORY 2 (final part)

Dawn drew near much earlier than expected. Howard knew most certainly age was closing up on him but he relied much more on his physical strength since his bones and muscles were yet to fail him. Few days ago and none would ever imagine a moment preceding the Tom Howard everyone else knew.
His heart raced on like it was trying to fulfill a compensation mechanism and at thesame time missed some beats in between. It sent chills all over his body, extremities went numb. Discomfort in real sense, trajectory amiss, all senses seemed lost but his ears were sharp enough to hear the phrase “poor vitals”, just then he went blank and chaos followed.

Like a transition, he felt alone in a deserted world on a lonely path. He met a few but none payed attention to the other, each person took strides and it seemed they had a destination.
With a gentle tap on his shoulders he was awakened, well at least to face the present. Amazingly another human, he was a bit elated atleast someone took notice of him. For the first time after a long while he spoke “do you see me? ” and the fellow replied “not everyone but I can”. For a short while they bonded and this new friend seemed like a tour guide, well he acted like one. He enlightened him more explaining the various paths and crossroads they could see and how each path led to a destination and much more that they were paths with lots of uncertainties, every person on a death or near death experience.

It all appeared clear to him, why it seemed everyone had their gazes fixed somewhere. They stopped a bit and he made emphasis on how much life is a choice, how much privileges we’re given to make things right.
Do you feel an indepth sense of peace? He asked, it took a while to answer and he abruptly added “make a decision to do things rightly and obtain the well deserved peace you seek”.

From a distance afar he could hear voices of people singing, melodious hymns precisely. This wasn’t his imaginations because it felt real. They sang on and on and after a while they stopped and next was the voice of a person talking in this same exact words…..
“Steve was a reliable person with no impersonation of any sort, he lived a life worthy of emulation and reached out to many in service. He was a healer and a sage renowned for profound wisdom, called to help and empower humans faced with glaring limitations through words and encouragement to help them gain healing and clarity to live life again and have better lives. He has had many achievements to prove he lived well, the lives he imparted and impacted are many such that we’ll say he’s survived by many. Steve lives on… “
He listened with keen interest and only imagined how awesome a human can be, much more one who lived on earth but dutifully fulfilled purpose with many gainful impacts, earthly possessions not yet heard of.
He looked at his companion, maybe to be sure he wasn’t alone to all that he has heard or seen.

The other made gestures suggesting it was time to part ways and he said “it’s time for me to be laid to rest, return thereof the balm of Gilead restores you”. He suddenly realized Steve actually existed and had been his companion all this while.
……………………………….
(Interluded with thoughts)
He laid motionless, picturing and putting to play the last forty five minutes. It was indeed a TRANS!
For Tom Howard one thing was sure, the determination to live life again and most certainly live his best life.

MY VIEWS
Just like everyone else I personally have had biased thoughts about this. Tom Howard must have lived nearly half and if not more than half his lifetime on earth, then this trans experience…..
Did he have to wait this long? Where did he miss it?
Mose changed his life at 40 but found destiny at 80. At 40 he was educated by royalty, trained by generals and had instant access to Pharaoh. This was certainly the right time to fulfill purpose, but we’ll have been wrong. At 80 he smelt like a shepherd and spoke like a farmer, then he was God’s choice and then did he fulfill purpose.
For some it starts at an early age, few others mid age, and for others old age. What difference does it make? When God calls you he prepares you in advance, creates a desire within you and guess what…. A desire is always the first step towards destiny. He works on your character and every needful towards fulfilling that vision.

Another notable fact is that he never wastes experiences, these experiences build up to prepare us for unleashment and a glorious manifestation.
Right now it might seem like “this is not it” or it probably feels like “I’m not doing well”, know that God will not give you a vision you cannot fulfill alone. If need be he’ll bring alongside others to compensate for your weakness. That vision you have will as well be birthed in the hearts of many, the logic is “before others catch a vision, it must be born in the heart of one person”.
Impliedly; nurture that thought in your heart, yield yourself to the process of birthing them, birth them, let others catch the vision as well and run with it!

The excerpts of your obituary could be a vision others will catch and run with!

Belief systems

I just published the first episode of my new podcast! Listen to Blessingken on Anchor https://anchor.fm/blessing-kenneth/episodes/Belief-systems-eh06ao

On the path to getting or seeing that well deserved change our society hopes for, these changes should first be noticeable in us as individuals and then it could go a wide range to our society atlarge. This entails we been better individuals ourselves.

The idea of this podcast is to relay or convey my deepest concerns knowing how much belief systems could make or mar our personalities. For our younger generation I can say they are chiefly responsible for the sporadic rate of mediocrity we see today, since their beliefs have turn out to be their allies and the act of settling for less is now a norm. This makes them castigate or bad mouth people who seem abnormal for wanting to achieve heights.

Smiles….. Positivity is all it takes, together with the will to embrace process and all that we envision will unfold, exceeding our expectations!

Dispensations to faults

There’s more to life than working all of your days in life.
Hmmmm deep right……. What part exactly?
The part of ‘more been to life’ or the part of ‘one working all of his/her days in life’.
Pause a little and analyze this first paragraph, look in depth, think in retrospect, how true is this?
No doubts, we’re all guilty of those words that turned out deep.
While it’s true to work while you can and are in your youthful age, it’s foolishness to work all your days in life. You might end up having plenty yields but what happens when age tik toks on you, retirement comes knocking and compulsory rest is imposed on you.
You’ll return to the bossom of those very necessities you neglected and finally reality dawns on you.

Hopefully it’s not late then and you’ve not lost them to your busy schedules.
How much attention do we pay to those things/persons that matter so much to us. Behind the scenes of those jobs and career is an absolute life that we have and are meant to live. How much more of the people we love and treasure so much, family they say is everything. Did they get tired waiting or we carelessly lost them to the chaos of waiting a lifetime of feeling inferior and second rated?
What happened to our hobbies, those things we loved doing and derived joy in? We simply put them aside waiting for leisure hours that turned work hours.
We may have inputted values of hardwork in the lives of others but failed to help them realize how much there is to life.

Sitting outside on a cool breezy evening, high spirited, face lit with smiles as you listen to the chatters of your children on and on, arguments with no validity. Yet with no expectations living each day happily as it comes, having no fear of rejection at some point.
Would this be a near experience or a peak experience to some of us?

Happiness can be said to be a thing of choice right?
People have what they value most and this differs from person to person. Priority is what matters.
Even when you’ve lost your source of happiness, take time and understand the concept of times and seasons. And just maybe, you’d bounce back once more with vibes more determined and convinced this time as to why you have a chance to life again having a fore knowledge that “there is actually more to life”.
Maybe those who are actually meant to be by your side will yet stay true, this very belief system is not healthy! It makes us take others for granted without consideration, the selfish ones expect a crowd to surround them at every needful point in time but hardly find time to be amongst the crowd another might need.

Every little is needful and will be seen by those who hold you dear to their hearts, yet appreciative of those little efforts/gestures reciprocated.
Asides been that super human in whatever field of expertise you’re in, be it in the business world, technological systems, entrepreneurship castles, to petty hustles as many would say………

(but hey, no legit work of a person is petty) we still await our buddies.
Outside that world of super heroism is another entirely different identity.

We’ll yet celebrate the valiant ones, shouldering many responsibilies yet dispensing explicitly.

Striking a balance is the lead phrase here and thus actions that would guarantee us finding fulfilment!

Blessed week ahead!

THE OBITUARY STORY (Part 1)

Writing an obituary might seem like a near death event and scares many of us. It scared me as well but I gained a subtle understanding that yet echoes in my whole system this day.

“My creator would not take me, unless I’ve fulfilled all that he’s sent me to do”.
This created more awareness in me about having a purpose, discovering it and living to fulfill them.

Popular song writers Keith Betty and Stuart Townend in a popular hymn with lines which read thus;
“No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till he returns and calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand “

This hymn’s full circle brought me to the ultimate realizations of God’s grace and divine covering.
Many a time, it has sent cold chills running through my veins and took me to a point of
self reflection. What have I done?, what am I doing?, what will I do?
The constant fear that my own ways might cause others to drift apart from rightful living.

But hey, it makes me even more determined to do more, give my all and when that point of exit comes to die empty.
How much more determined will you get?, When you discover that lives and destinies are tied to yours, that you’d at some point navigate the paths of others and lead them to a winning life or a life of self destruction.

It is massive and heavy duty and at thesame time you cannot just fail.
The joyful thing is I love how in this kingdom you choose your own realities.
When that time of exit finally comes it comes with peace, as you’re exiting the earth bears witness that a legend just crossed over.

The reality is you have lived your own life and done your part and assignment.
One of such constant reminders I pitch to myself is ” I cannot afford to fail God who has deposited gems in me! I cannot fail my generation and genealogy! I must not fail myself! “

At the first instance this could /might have been a complete distraught or turn off for many. But this also tells the good of a mind shifting process.
For me, I’m more determined to live life!

PATRIARCHY

Fellow feminist the first rule of combat is knowing who our enemy is and it’s a pity we’ve not done well in that area.
We keep heaping and throwing blames in the wrong direction, causing enemity amongst ourselves.
Who did this to us?

With recent happenings the male gender has been the focal point of deliberations.
Yes, they are the perpetrators but are they really the enemies?
Both gender are not hale /whole, the male gender has it’s own issues so does the female gender.
It’s saddening because we all have male figures in our lives, we all have fathers, brothers and other male figures within our circle. And we’ll someday get married and birth sons. And the term “RAPIST” is hanging around their necks.

At this point we’ll all agree that our society is faulty. Permit me to say it’s an established fact!
What makes up our society? Family, school, religious institution, organizations ….
The first contact is the family where values and morals are inculcated into us.
We’re all born into homes with religion and so the next hub we know most certainly is the church or mosque where we are taught religious doctrines that’ll help guide our conduct in the society. At a much younger age we’re enrolled in school for formal education, here the child learns and is taught about morals that are acceptable in the society or not. Growing up further there are significant others we come across in the society.

Lapses might come from any of these institutions and somehow we fall in one category or the other.
Where we have failed others took up the task dishing out wrongs, they got misinformed by peers, negative aspects of social media, the internet, movies and other social vices.
How about we share in the blame?
Whichever way, however little, wherever we find ourselves, let’s all do the needful. If we all do little, our little efforts will go lengths.

Mind shifting…………
Only when we agree to share in the blame, can we discover our real enemy.
Our real enemy is “PATRIARCHY” (Yes, read that again!).
Those sets of ideologies that acts to explain and justify dominance and attribute it to inherent natural differences between a man and a woman. This had manifested itself in the social, political, legal, economic and religious organizations of a range of different cultures.
Those ideologies that see men as been better off women, that creates the atmosphere for dominance and stereotyped roles each gender is assigned to.
This very ideologies made the male gender see themselves as superiors over women, with a heightened sense of pride. And has made it seem impossible for a woman to be given certain positions in leadership and government.
These same ideologies has made women vulnerable to men (no wonder domestic voilence happens with so much ease since he feels he’s in control of her) and has made that little boy yet innocent at heart pose to be a potential threat to the girl child.

That little girl is made to believe she wouldn’t amount to anything in life and so she accepts all she goes through, since she’s told “these things are normal ” growing up with a high tendency to shame her fellow woman who has been abused.

As long as these ideologies are still in place and many generations of men and women exploit these ideas, consequently men becoming MISOGYNISTS (women haters) and women having a strong disposition to inferiority complex.
Then we’ll hardly get the PEACE we seek!
Let’s all do the needful.

Culled from :

Battered, bruised&broken, Yet she lives on!

Dominion

In a world like ours how terrible are the deeds of men.
Who created thou?
He created man from the dust of the earth and the  earth which was initially  without form and void was put in order.
The man he made was in his own image and likeness, he left him not empty DOMINION he gave.

How comes the life God ordained became void? How comes all that he made perfect became imperfect.
Man gave way to his very own enemy and lost his DNA,  the priceless gift of dominion.
He suffered for it and the ignorant man yet suffering for it.
  A curse was placed.  Man toiled, sweated, cried, worked.  The creator came up with a plan of redemption.

A savior came, fulfilled scriptures from long before his birth. He practiced his end from the beginning by his birth to a carpenter (the mystery of cross).
The enemy came his way again but this time rather than bowing, he chose the cross because he knew only the cross will crush the curse.
He paid for it all fully and even did extra, redemption, healing, salvation and newness.

We’re probably waiting to hear from him’,  he speaks and we still ask for one more time.
We’re waiting to witness his works, he acts and we’re asking for one more time.
We’re waiting to see him, he reveals himself and we’re yet asking for one more time.
One more time until eternity is lost forever

Selah………

The typical African woman.

The struggle of every African woman told in our picture. How does all of this add up;Men, Society, Other women and Religion.
The society has made womanhood seem like a curse and made it impossible for the girl child to live peacefully. It’s been like a circle from birth, growing into an adolescent and finally an adult with no change at all. How about the myths? Various cultures and traditions from different ethnic groups around the world, most of these cultures are wicked and barbaric,commiting grievous acts against humanity.
Men on the other hand are not left out on this. Most abuses and voilence are perpetrated by men, since the society has made the female gender vulnerable to the male gender. Daily the average african woman is been taken advantage of in relationships and even in marriage. Regardless of body size, age and strength she goes through a dilemma. Cases of rape are on the increase even in marriage ( marital rape), verbal abuse, physical abuse, denial and limitation of basic human right.
As though the men and societal factors are not enough she also suffers in the hands of her fellow women. She’s been belittled and gossiped about. Those she looks up to and share her problems with tend to symphatize with her at the moment but criticize and gossip about her predicament later on. She is made an object of scorn and laughter by her fellow women. Where has our innate trait and ability to protect our own specie wandered to????

And it seems like the female gender has no where to run to as she suffers in the hands of all.
We’ll be wondering what role religion has to play in this…… In our various religions there are basis already established as regards both genders which is non negotiable as this basis goes beyond our very own selves. Retrospect to the fact that our creator who created us in his own image and likeness has good intentions towards us. But then many have used such basis as a camouflage to do otherwise and in defence to their cowardly acts hide under this basis. Woe to such men!
The feminine gender battles with her innate personality and religious doctrines to maintain her sanity ensuring to do right at all times. Here optimum wisdom, personal understanding and convictions are key factors needed to discern what she deems fit as been accepted in her faith.

Our gleam of hope is to the fact that there are few others out there who understand and share in our pain, with them together change can and will set in.

We look forward to a future where the feminine gender regains her image, sanity, wholesomness and enjoy peace.

BEAUTY

She steps out dressed gracefully, perfectly made up, face lit with smiles (those smiles that comes from the heart), walked majestically. She received many comments of appraisal and for every she replied any with smiles.
In her lies much more than an outward definition of beauty. She possesses attitudes and characters well deserved; honesty, courtesy, moral soundness (integrity), discipline, diligence, patience, perseverance and much more attributes deemed fit to describe virtousness.
She’s not perfect, she’s walked her way through to perfection.
One striking thing is the PEACE she emanates with so much ease. She does this without much efforts because it comes from within her. Can one give what he has not?
Time past she sought for peace (the peace that surpasses all understanding). In her quest for this she got aligned to the rightful source, whom with no price gave freely with more benefits attached.
The glow you see, the ambience you perceive, the perfection you covet was at some point a work in progress.
The act of yielding made it all possible!
It didn’t happen in just one day, it took days, weeks, months and even years to achieve.
It wasn’t all easy, Nah!
There were days she felt there were better things to do, times she felt it was all a waste of time, moments she needed a break. As people would say, a training ground is never a place of comfort.

But she persevered, more determined than ever.
Ooooops did I mention?
There were times she felt wierd and different because she was set apart from others more like a loner.
Her source never forsook her.
In her quest she was pruned, remoulded, rebranded, reshaped and given a new identity with so much peace no human /earthly situation could take away.
The process is very much still on, daily she’s never thesame!
For many out there who have lost their way, trying hard to find their path back to feminity to reclaim the lost pieces of themselves, these and much more is possible.
The beauty, the glow, perfection and peace you seek is very much feasible.
The act of concession /yielding to the ultimate and rightful source is the key.

Batteredbruisedandbroken

Sheliveson

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